Homily Outline Combining Resources

Homily outline on parenting and family bonds

• The concept of family goes beyond blood:
  • Experiences of adoption and foster parenting demonstrate that it is about establishing bonds and relationships.
  • It is what Vatican II calls the “domestic church” (Lumen Gentium, 11).
• The feast of the Holy Family provides opportunities to talk about the importance of parenting in all of its diverse forms, e.g., stepparents, foster parents, etc.
  • Mary
    • She is a well-developed figure in the Catholic imagination as Mother of the second Person of the Holy Trinity.
    • She is celebrated for her remarkable and wholehearted commitment to God’s plan for our salvation in Christ.
    • The fiat of Mary is the reference of our own Fiat to God’s will.
    • Without doubt Mary shaped the life and mission of Jesus.
  • Joseph
    • A more hidden figure but very important in God’s salvation plan
    • Like Mary visited by Gabriel, he was also visited by an angel confirming that he too was chosen by God
    • The archangel Gabriel appears to Joseph as well
    • Joseph was also faithful to God’s plan
    • As his protector and head of the household he also undoubtedly shaped the life of Jesus.
    • In December 2021, Pope Francis proclaimed a year dedicated to Saint Joseph: “St. Joseph reminds us that those who appear hidden or in the shadows can play an incomparable role in the history of salvation. A word of recognition and of gratitude is due to them all,” https://www.vatican.va/content/francesco/en/apost_letters/documents/papa-francesco-lettera-ap_20201208_patris-corde.html
• Parenting can be stressful
  • Even in nuclear families with biological offspring, parenting is challenging.
  • Psychologists even recognize the category of “parenting stress”:
    • the feeling as a parent that you cannot cope with a situation, the demands are too high, and you don’t have the resources to respond https://parentingscience.com/parenting-stress/ .
  • In single parent families, or families with adopted or foster children, that stress can be higher.
  • While attachment is a normal expectation between parents and children
    • it is not a black and white affair, and adoptees face extra difficulties in successful attachment relationships https://www.family-institute.org/behavioral-health-resources/hidden-impact-adoption .
    • Attachment is complicated as children discover or want to explore relationships with their birth parents and/or biological siblings.
  • The Christmas season can be a particular time for family stress https://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2017/dec/20/festive-stress-why-the-christmas-season-can-be-anything-but-merry .
    • Because of workloads and time demands
    • Family estrangement
    • Financial restraints
    • Expectations around gifts, especially by children.
  • The Holy Family was not a stress-free family:
    • Mary was pregnant by a mysterious source.
    • Joseph considered divorcing her.
    • They had to make a long trip to Bethlehem while Mary was in the late stages of her pregnancy.
    • The life of their newborn was threatened by King Herod.
    • The young family had to flee to Egypt.
    • They even “lost” Jesus in the Temple on a family pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
    • Pope Francis noted: In the Gospel, we see that even in the Holy Family things did not all go well: There were unexpected problems, anxiety, suffering. The Holy Family of holy cards does not exist,” https://www.ncronline.org/news/theology/francis-chronicles/even-holy-family-felt-stress-pope-tells-families .
• Grace and generosity in the midst of imperfection:
  • The image of a perfect family is a myth and actually can be destructive https://www.mentalhelp.net/relationships/the-perfect-family/ .
  • The grace of the “domestic church” is not the grace of a flawless family unit
    • rather it is the grace of God’s presence in every family despite its flaws.
  • The Holy Family provides an image of family diversity:
    • A husband and wife who never consummated their marriage bond
    • A son with no biological father
    • A stepfather and stepson
    • The death of the stepfather at some stage, leaving Mary a widow.
  • Each family is its own configuration of grace.
    • The mission is to find the grace in the imperfections
    • To embrace the beauty and the flaws that make each family distinctive.
  • Families with adopted children or foster children, households with grandparents or other configurations of “extended families”
    • Are distinctive images of God’s own generosity.
    • Jesus himself understood that his “mother and brothers” are the people who do God’s will (Mark 3:31-5).
  • In a similar way, each family is invited in the image of the Holy Family similarly to open themselves to such inclusiveness and generosity
    • According to their own means and circumstances
    • Doing so can enhance the grace and growth of the nuclear family itself.